to liv(e) curved is to:
embrace our body-minds as they are,
resisting dominant narratives,
and give others the space to do the same
I focus on:
I was a Purity Practicing Evangelical
After experiencing disorienttion and disaffection, I'm now a scholar of Purity Culture and White Evangelicalism Researcher
how do earnest bodies in evangelicalism continue to perpetuate harm?
queer, but heteropresenting;
my embodied identities/social location:
I Liv(e) Curved.
My journey living curved began with scoliosis.
In 2009, someone asked me "did you know your back puffs out on one side?"
I did not know. I attribute this to severe dissociation from my own body.
The next day I was diagnosed with severe idiopathic scoliosis.
My curvature was 58°. Since I was 14, the curve could get worse.
I was put in a full upper body 'Boston Brace' for four years 24/7.
Living with a noticeable disability and brace,
I felt alienated and faulty.
Five years later, I had my first surgery.
which eventually led to a second surgery.
Did you know spinal surgeries increase the percentage of likelihood for mental health symptoms and chronic illnesses? Not a single health care provider told me this or prepared me for the darkness that was to come.
Listen to your body.
Due to unrelenting pain, I had surgery in May 2014. In most cases, the correction is near straight, but my back remained curved at 30°. Two years later, I began experiencing intense pain again, but my surgeon kept telling me I was fine. I knew I was not fine. In 2018, I told my surgeon something was wrong. In February 2019, my surgeon performed a second surgery and found broken hardware. Trust yourself.
Braced & cut open, but still curved.
And along the way, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and major depression.
In the end, I hurt myself and my back and was forced to stop when I began experiencing
liv curved is about the road to acceptance and flourishing of our body-minds, and discussing what stops us. I live curved.
For so long, I have fought against my body, trying to look and act "straight & able-bodied" to prove I was valuable.
Even after a brace and two surgeries, my spine continues to be visibly severely curved.