Disorder and imperfection is constructed
we cannot make the world more accepting until we start resisting dominant narratives and accepting ourselves, our curves, and create new paths.
"I wonder what we would know about ourselves and about each other if our diagnosis [our differences] projected acceptance rather than disorder onto our body-minds."
-Eli Clare, Brilliant Imperfection: Grappling with Cure.
My journey living curved began with scoliosis.
In 2009, a girl said to me "did you know your back puffs out on the right side?"
The next day I was diagnosed with severe idiopathic scoliosis.
My curvature was 58°. Since I was 14, the curve could get worse.
I was put in a full upper body 'Boston Brace' for four years 24/7.
Living with a noticeable disability and brace,
I felt alienated and faulty.
Five years later, I had my first surgery.
which eventually led to a second surgery.
Did you know spinal surgeries increase the percentage of likelihood for mental health symptoms and chronic illnesses? Not a single health care provider told me this or prepared me for the darkness that was to come.
Listen to your body.
Due to unrelenting pain, I had surgery in May 2014. In most cases, the correction is near straight, but my back remained curved at 30°. Two years later, I began experiencing intense pain again, but my surgeon kept telling me I was fine. I knew I was not fine. In 2018, I told my surgeon something was wrong. In February 2019, my surgeon performed a second surgery and found broken hardware. Trust yourself.
Braced & cut open, but still curved.
And along the way, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and major depression.
In the end, I hurt myself and my back and was forced to stop when I began experiencing
liv curved is about the road to acceptance and flourishing of our body-minds, and discussing what stops us.
For so long, I have fought against my body, trying to look and act "straight & able-bodied" to prove I was valuable.
Being diagnosed in high school impacted my mental health, my self-esteem, and my body image.
To Liv(e) Curved is to:
embrace our body-minds as they are and encourage others to do the same